Well,

Writing. Its not just a past time. Its not just a hobby. Its not just something I do for people when I feel like being nice. Its my liberation, my life, my joy, my hate, my wonder, my commitment. Its my everything. I hate life most of the time, and I want to write about it. I love life most of the time and I want to write about it.
I feel that certain something sometimes from the core of my chest, and its waiting to come out and free itself. It overcomes me in such a way that I cannot talk, all I can do is write. I feel as if it's the only thing I can do to express myself. I never acquired the ability to talk in front of people very well, nor have I acquired the ability of any artistic skills. I've only acquired a good memory and a thirst for knowledge.
I began to read, and that made me think even more so, and then I just started writing. And the writing felt great at first. At first I didn't care about my quality. Then I paid attention in English, and to the grammar, and dammit, that's all I'm worried about now! But is writing truly about quality? Isn't writing about...I don't know, the words and how you use them, and what they mean to you. How can any writer express themselves any other way? If you have to be grammatically correct all of the time, well, doesn't that just limit the creativity? The words are bound by periods, commas, and quotes, and where is the freedom in that? How can you write freely, if the grammar chains are pushing you down?
Or am I wrong? Is writing about writing in such a way that can be grammatically correct and equally liberating? If so, why are these books so boring? I've tried to read some great quality books, and I must say, they are not pleasant. There are so many words that don't sound like words, but complicated Lawyer lingo. I'd have to have a dictionary beside me, and use it ever two seconds because the writing is so ridiculously confusing!
Or is that just my stupidy kicking in, telling me that this book has too many big words in it?! Its no fun sitting and reading a book I don't even know how to read, let alone understand.
Or am I just ignorant? Is that how reading a book with complex language supposed to be like? If so I have no desire to read such books. I'd rather stick with my young adult books that take me to other worlds, into other lives, and lets me explore the minds of teenagers my own age.
Its hard to write in good quality, but to me, personally, its all about how much you write and how much of your soul you put into your every word. Isn't that what really matters?